Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Eight Seven Thirteen

It's been quite a few since my last blog post.  Here's a timeline which doesn't include everything.

1)   Graduated college with two degrees.
2)   Got a house with my lady parts.
3)   Got a puppy, named her Penelope.
4)   Substitute taught during the school year
5)   Worked on a farm
6)   Been to three regional burns which energize me in ways I can't possibly try to explain but probably will in the coming months.
7)  Joined Twitter (3 followers)
8)  Made a conscientious attempt at being less negative and political on social networking sites.  But here, it's a different story.
9)  Uncle Shaggy

Some charming things about each of these, which includes some hot button talking points)

1)  I'd like to try my hand in Psychology or Chemistry sometime, but until then...i'll just tutor myself in stuff and practice maths on my own since I have Student Loans (talking point #1).

2)  It's in Ann Arbor.  We can walk to the golf course for U of M tailgating. Tri-level with a deck.  Classy and a lawn that just won't grow grass.  I hate lawns.  Grow food, not lawns (talking point #2).

3)  She had a mild case of the doggy flu in July, which she was exposed at the Taylor shelter.  She came through and is now a healthy pain in the butt who loves to eat helicopter seeds and my arm hair.  Ellie recommends Chase.  Not the corporation.  The activity. (talking point #3)  Actually, she recommends Chase everything that is blown by the wind and looks like something to chew on.

4)  Saline alternative school treated me very well during my three weeks subbing there.  I played volleyball, helped with math classes, and got hit in the face with a dodge ball.  Thanks Seth, well played sir.  According to a 7th grade geography class at the middle school, I am the coolest sub ever and I NEED TO TEACH THEM IN 8th GRADE.  Well, if anyone wants a teacher, I am licensed in 6-12 Math and Speech, but I have experience in many other subjects. Knitting if you can believe that.

5)  Gardening is excellent.  I could get used to it.  Dirty hands make for healthy living.

6)  Lakes of Fire.  Creativity.  Companionship.  Crazy awesome music and expressionistic artworks.  Most of all, a NEW FOUND SENSE OF HUMOR thanks to an uncrackable pistachio in 2012.

7)  Shaggy isms make their way onto Twitter now.  #shag2ski

8)  Whenever I find myself being negative or promoting something negative, I just multiply myself by a negative number and become positive.  Music helps with this.  So does Ellie.  And wine.  Don't forget the wine.  (Trader Joes Wine in a Box, 4 bottles for $11)

9)  Jeff, my ultra witty and talented brother of 30 years has been lucky enough to have an amazing child with his amazing gf, Amy.  His name is Carter, and I can't do any online purchasing without thinking of him.  Add to cart -er ok.  (<---pun another="" anything="" as="" brain="" favor="" for="" him="" hy="" in="" intended="" is="" matusicky="" molding.="" monsanto.="" nbsp="" never="" offer="" our="" p="" point="" ripe="" shifting="" talking="" to="" volution="" vow="">
I have political beliefs and I am not afraid to sprinkle them into my blog.  I try to stop it at a sprinkle, since if I wanted to slather myself in political BS, I'd be on FB right now reading my feed.  I read more and question everything I read.  I feel that I am right a lot.  When I am not, I accept it, learn something, and move on to being right again.

Excellent.  I also recommend reading anything by Noam Chomsky.  Especially if you enjoy logical, intelligent thinking.  If you don't enjoy logical, intellegent thinking, please, consider it.

Catch you on the flip side.










Friday, December 24, 2010

I didn't hear a starting pistol...

Since my decision to return to school to pursue a teaching certificate in high school math; I have been looking for outlets to relieve (not relive) stress. I completely forgot about my blog. Typing essays and reflections for classes is work. Typing for my own entertainment is awesome. I could have chosen many topics for my first of a long line of Shaggy blogposts. 'Race' is a word that I feel is strongly misused in this country. When people use the term 'race' (hereafter unquoted), I don't know if they know what box they are checking. The box I am referring to of course is on the U.S. Census ballot. (Venting alert) I applied for a job with and took a test for the U.S. Census Bureau 2010. Who knew that a highly educated math major with a strong grasp on the English language named Scott was unqualified to work for the U.S. Govt? On the ballot, we have several boxes that are to be checked. Male/Female: Check. Address: (Fill in the blank) very sneaky. Race: (hmm……….). Wow. I don't know if anyone else noticed this or not but here were the choices to the best of my memory: White, African-American, Latino, Asian. Now, I guess this is all pretty straight forward. Here is the kicker. Under the Asian category, there were at least 8 or 9 subheadings for what type of asian descent you are. I can't list them all, but you get the drift: Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Taiwanese, and the list goes on with your typical categorizations of asian people). There wasn't a choice for 'other' if I recall.

Here are my problems with this and there are many so go with me on this. Asia includes Russia and India am I right. But if you were Russian, you would check the white box correct?. If you were Indian well you couldn't check any of these boxes since Indians are not from Africa they are from friggin' India. Geographically speaking, India is very close to China, but Indians aren't Asian? Totally confusing. I could go on and on about this misuse of the ballot so I will. Being Chinese, Indian, Black, White, Red, Brown ("Feel the vibration") isn't stating someone's race at all. It's their ETHNICITY. When did we all forget about the word combination 'human race'? Here is how the ballot should look if I were in charge: Wait for it….

Race: Human <> Not human <>
Ethnicity: (Please write in the space provided)_____________________________________.

This would also hint at an educational level as well.

Race is not about ethnicity and yet the majority of us, myself included, misuse it in our everyday lives. Using race the way it really should be used, Lieutenant Ripley from "Aliens" was very racist against those things. As well she should have been. Those creatures from a different race were jerks. They definitely deserved to get sucked into outer space. Or did they? Who am I to judge? I don't want to be considered a racist. I also don't want my FACE burned off either by acidy blood, or Ripley's flamethrower. I try to see it from both sides of the fence.

I didn't hear a starting pistol. Our race started a long time ago. No matter how diverse our ethnicity, our race is very easy to assess. Here is a quick quiz and see if you can guess what this is:

Race: Not Human
Ethnicity: Kenyan.

Answer:

An African-American Zebra perhaps? Think about that one for a while.

Monday, October 20, 2008

DJ Dmitri

OK well this song is pretty sweet. Its like a club mix. Something you'd hear in a Dance Club. Video is pretty cheesy, but screw it.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

THE BEAST

Many don't know but I love Roller Coasters. My family used to take trips to Cedar Point and Kings Island almost every year when my parents were younger. Now they have gotten older and can't ride the insane roller coasters like they used to. The Beast at Kings Island is my all time favorite roller coaster. I remember my dad dragging me on this thing when I was not even seven or eight. I hated him for it then. I thank him for it now. Take this four minute ride with me and pretend you are sitting next to someone you love. It brings back great memories for me. I wish I could go back and relive the times with my dad on roller coasters. It kind of chokes me up a little to know that I someday may take my kids on this nostalgic ride. Thanks dad.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Rejection

I know many of us feel some type of rejection in our lifetime. Rejection sucks. Especially last call at a bar or that hottie at the bar that you really shouldn't be hitting on in the first place. But I want to dedicate my time here to another type of rejection. The vending machine. All I want is a friggin' bag of Cheez-Its. The dollar I put in there gets rejected. Now I am playing George Washington tug of war for five whole minutes because some retailer gave me dollar bills that apparently have been in some unfortunate accident.

OK so I finally give up on said dollar and attempt to put in another one. Same thing! Listen here vending machine...you aren't winning this one. I am going to use your corner to "iron" out the wrinkles and straighten out the corners. That one millimeter really makes a difference eh? Still nothing? Still not flat enough stupid dollar? OK smart guy, how 'bout I take you outside and steam roll you. WOW! That worked. Sweet! Finally!

So I get the Cheez-Its. They were really not worth the effort and stress. Plus I am lactose intolerant, so we'll see in an hour how not worth-it it was. I reach down for my change, put my finger in the slot and pull out a shiny brand new CANADIAN QUARTER. Oh come on! What am I going to do with this? Drive to Canada and put a down payment on a Polar Bear? Vending machines in Canada wouldn't reject a loony. They don't bend.

My advice to anyone who reads this is to take very special care of their one dollar bills. The less rejection in one's life the better. Especially when it comes to overpriced snacks.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Guy Storage Devices

This post is dedicated to my super phat wallet. It is about the size of an IPod, but two inches thicker. I have had this thing since God knows when. I am pretty sure that it is the reason for my constant back problems and Restless Leg Syndrome. The contents of this thing, and the inherent uselessness of the things inside are comical to me. Here is a brief laundry list of its contents:

$50-mainly ones
3 Credit Cards
15 Gift Cards (I am pretty sure they are $0 balanced)
14 Business Cards (Two have my name on them from previous employers)
2 AAA Cards (one obviously expired)
1 Identification Card
1 Drivers License
1 Expired ATM Card

I can't take any of this stuff out because it is holding together the very fabric of the wallet's existence. If one thing goes, everything all falls out.

Why I haven't shaved down this inventory and gotten a new wallet is beyond me. The only thing missing from this thing are the flaps that keep wallet sized pictures. Even then I wouldn't be able to fill them all up because; A: I'm not in high school, B: I don't have a lot of photogenic friends, and C: No kids, No pets, and no gift certificate to Olan Mills.  Next time anyone sees me, please ask if i have gotten a new wallet yet. If my answer is no...flick my on the forehead. I need an intervention.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Girl Talk

I may be behind on the times...and I am probably the 8,000,000th person to find out about this guy, but a DJ out of Pittsburgh, PA just blew me out of the water.  Thats all I have to say. Google this and download it and spread the good word.

www.myspace.com/girltalk